lifesaving advice for new mamas

 
Now that Allie Girl has been around for over two weeks, we’re slowly adjusting to the New Normal and all of the variables, adventures, and joy it brings! Here are some helpful bits of advice I received from other moms that have made all the difference:

• “Don’t hesitate to accept help – or ask for it – especially from your baby’s dad”: It’s hard feeling helpless to do things like cook dinner and keep up with my house, but the first few weeks of a baby’s life are really dedicated to fattening him or her up and stealing every precious minute of sleep possible. JT’s cousin, a mom of three, advised me that involving your baby’s dad from the start can 1) help him bond with baby, 2) provide quality time between the two of you, 3) set the tone for a long-term parenting style based on partnership.
• “Get dressed everyday” (—my mom): While I’ve never placed very much of my self-worth in my appearance, taking care of myself by getting out of my pajamas and putting on a little makeup has given me a little more energy every day. Sometimes this doesn’t happen until 5 p.m., and I think I’ve rocked the ponytail more often than not, but taking these little steps has helped me feel a little more like myself and not like a sleep-deprived zombie version of myself.
• “Give yourself a project, something to look forward to and accomplish each day”: Yes, a mother’s job and the care she provides during the newborn phase is probably the most crucial stage in the baby’s life. This job is SO important, but with that repetition combined with the lovely cocktail of hormones in a new mom’s changing body, I think it’s important that she give herself at least one project/event/etc to look forward to during the day from baking a batch of muffins to getting 5 thank you notes written. Yes, this is also a time of recovery for new moms after their bodies experience birth, but little bursts of purpose and productivity are good for the mind as long as they don’t inhibit the body’s hard work towards recovery!
• “Sleep when baby sleeps” (every mom I’ve ever talked to): The first few nights Allie was home, we would go into the other room to our little recliner for middle of the night feedings, and I’d usually just end up half-sleeping on the recliner with her, enjoying our warm little cocoon between feedings. Our nurse practitioner emphasized how important it was to not only begin establishing a nighttime routine with her (low lighting at night, speaking in whispers to her, low volume on the TV, etc.) but to give her a little kiss and put her back in her bed after feedings. I definitely feel more restful when I sleep in my own bed, and I’d imagine Allie does, too!
• “The best way to take care of your baby is to take care of yourself”: I don’t think you can ever fully prepare for or realize how much birth takes its toll on the body until you’ve actually gone through it. It’s important to follow your doctor’s instructions for postpartum care, lay low, and to make sure you’re getting enough rest (even if rest doesn’t necessarily = sleep at this point).
• “Don’t even think about your post-baby body right now”: On that vein, the only thing you can control with your post-baby body until the six-week mark is eating balanced meals and making sure you drink plenty of water. Whether you still look six months pregnant or you’re one of those blessed souls who can wear pre-pregnancy jeans home from the hospital, there’s no sense obsessing over your appearance. I’ve been slowly concocting a fitness plan for once I get the all-clear and trying to eat well despite the delicious meals and blessings that have been showered on us. (Blog post on this to come!)
• “You are the only expert on your baby” (—CK): It’s important to be educated about your baby, to discuss things with your baby’s doctor, but also to trust your own instincts. Allie lost 10 oz before my milk came in, and I was supposed to feed her every two hours. The night before her follow-up appointment, she was fussy, didn’t want to eat much, and fell into a deep sleep. Exhausted myself, I let her sleep for four hours, and when we woke up, we were both rejuvenated enough for a great feeding session and she was all the way back up to birth weight after just one weekend!
• This article from BreastfeedingBasics.com: Breastfeeding is hard and frustrating, but I’ve been told it’s like wearing in a new pair of shows and gets better if you just give it time. One really frustrating night, I read this article and it encouraged me tremendously! I love this quote a lot: “You need to remember that your baby hasn’t read those books or taken those classes, and he doesn’t have a clue that he is supposed to behave like the ‘average’ baby. In fact, there is no such thing in real life as an ‘average’ baby. Since each mom and each baby is unique, each nursing experience will be different.”

I’m so grateful that so many of my friends and fellow bloggers are becoming parents for the first time this year and are experiencing this new stage alongside me. That camaraderie is a lifesaver in and of itself! And I’m also grateful for the more experienced moms in my life who have been there to answer my questions and offer their support and advice to my little family.

I could write another post entirely on the physical lifesaving objects that have made our transition to parenthood pretty seamless, so in the interest of being an open book for other new moms out there, I think I will!

Ultimately, I think that patience is the most important thing to make new parenthood a beautiful experience. Allie has been incredibly patient with me as I learn more about her and how to be her mama, so I think it’s only fair that I return the favor